The 18 Rules of Happiness by Karl Moore

I came across this book some months back. It came with a free opt-in to some list I signed up for. Come to think of it, I can't remember which list it was. LOL! Still I'm glad to have received a copy of this e-book by Karl Moore.. The 18 Rules of Happiness.

It just strikes me as I wonder is there really a list of rules on how one can become happy? And why is this happiness concept rather elusive? Isn't happiness simply a state of mind? I mean, if you believe and know that you are happy, then you are happy. Apparently, it's not that simple for a lot of people.

Anyhow, I really enjoyed reading the e-book and thought of sharing bits of it with my own insights. Read on to rediscover your own happiness. It may be a lot closer than you think.

Rule #1 -- Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world." - Helen Keller

I think the quote I borrowed says it all. After all, we all tend to wallow in self-pity once in a while. Sometimes, we even tend to blame everything or everyone else for things that have happened or are still happening to us. We take pleasure in blaming the weather, the government, and most everything else we have no control over.

Totally foolish and ineffective.

You may not have all the riches in the world. You may not have all the talents. Yet it's no reason to feel self-pity. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You can do so much more if you start there.

Believe that you are  a wonderful being. You were created for a reason and purpose. That should be more than enough to make you feel good.

If you truly want to be happy, stop feeling sorry for yourself.


(to be continued...)

Effective Steps for Managing Anxiety

Have you ever been in a situation that brought on sweats, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath? You probably weren’t having a heart attack but an anxiety attack.  If you suffer from anxiety disorders, learning to manage it is the first step to overcoming it.

Anxiety is characterized as extreme reactions to fearful situations.  When someone follows you into a dark alley, those anxious feelings of a racing heartbeat and sweaty palms gives way to heightened senses and a rush of adrenalin that can save your life.  This is the fight or flight syndrome. 

In the case of frequent anxiety, the fearful feelings are dread of a particular situation and not the situation itself.  Getting caught in traffic can cause an anxiety attack over what might happen when you get to work late.  Starting a new job can bring on anxiety attacks.  You don’t know anyone and fear of that unknown can send you into a panic.

Everyone experiences panic or anxiety in small ways.  Like the fight or flight example, it can save your life.  In new situations, we get panicky but when the outcome we fear fails to materialize, the anxiety stops.  For someone with chronic anxiety, this is not the case.

Every situation that brings anxiety is not life-threatening.  More than likely it is an extremely stressful situation that has brought on the anxiety as a way of dealing with it.  Unchecked anxiety of this type can lead to depression.

If you suffer from anxiety attacks on occasion or a more frequent anxiety disorder, there are steps you can take to keep your anxiety under control. 

1. See a professional.  This is always a good first step.  Self-diagnosis of any type of physical or mental condition is unwise and can be dangerous.  A professional psychologist can help you understand your anxiety and prescribe medication or other effective techniques.

2. Get a good night’s sleep.  During the sleep cycle, your body repairs itself.  You feel more rested after several hours of restorative sleep, reaching the REM (rapid eye movement) stage.  Most people need eight hours a night which varies within an hour or two each way.

3. Exercise on a consistent basis.  Exercise helps you to use oxygen more efficiently.  It helps to get more oxygen to the brain.  It also increases focus which may help you see solutions to problems rather than simply worrying about them. 

4. Meditate.  Meditation is more than chanting mantras.  Yoga is an exercise that involves quieting the mind and controlling your breathing.  Simple mediation such as taking 5 minutes to clear your mind everyday can work wonders in the fight against anxiety.

5. Manage the worry.  When you feel your pulse start to quicken, count backwards from ten.  As you count, focus on the situation.  What has actually happened? Resist the urge to read anything more into the situation. 

6. Don’t use alcohol.  You might think that the glass of wine is relaxing your tension but alcohol is a depressant.  In anxious situations you could rely too heavily on it and gain another problem in the process.

7. Find some relaxing activities.  Stress can rob you of your energy.  On a regular basis, do something you like such as gardening, painting, reading or listening to music.  

Anxiety can come into your life at any time.  It’s normal.  When the anxiety becomes frequent you could be at risk for more serious conditions.  If you feel your anxiety is starting to take over your life or increasingly causing you problems, seek professional help immediately.  There is no need to suffer this terrible condition in silence.
 

A Tale of Two Ref Magnets

Some time during the week, I got really upset to find one of my two ref magnets was missing. You're probably wondering what's the big deal? It's just a ref magnet right? Well, I bought these two ref magnets in Thailand a few years ago on a trip with girlfriends. That time I formed a dream that I will travel more and collect more ref magnets from other places. I haven't fulfilled that part of the dream to this day so I hang on to it. Why am I sharing this story? Because I learned something from it.

You see the ref magnets have been sitting on the ref for so long that I don't really put that much importance to them. But it does make me feel calm to be looking at them daily. So imagine when one day I take a look and one of them was missing! I was pretty much devastated when I tried and tried to look for it but couldn't find it. I had two sleepless nights and a major headache. The story has a happy ending though. We did find the second ref magnet. Now both of them sit in front of my desktop table.

So what did I learn? That sometimes we don't value things that are important to us until we've lost them. Lucky for me it wasn't totally lost. But seriously, how often do we take things or even people for granted, esp. our loved ones and family or even friends? Sure we see them a lot -- daily even -- but have we showed them how much we appreciate them? If not, it's not too late to do so. It's funny how it took two ref magnets to teach me this lesson. Now I know better than to take anything or anyone for granted.

Live in the here and the now! Appreciate and value what you have and who you have in your life right now. Don't wait until it's too late.

8 Habits of Very Joyful People

1 - Decide to be happy.

Happiness is a state of mind. If you want to be happy, think happy.  And  yes, it's a choice -- your choice.

2 - Apply the power of positive thinking.

Being positive doesn't mean you're only counting on the good things to happen. It  really means believing that no matter what happens, it is for the best.

3 - Maintain emotional wellness.

Nothing beats emotional wellness. How do you maintain it? Find time to reflect and meditate.  When things get a bit overwhelming, step back, detach yourself, take a walk and see the good things in life.

4 - Have an attitude of gratitude.

When you wake up in the morning, say thanks. Be thankful for another day, another chance to make a difference. In a values enhancement camp I attended some years back, we were made to chant "Today is better than yesterday. Success!"

5 - Live in the present.

There is no point in dwelling in the past. Even if you had a sad childhood, face it, it's over. Live in the now. Today is a gift, that's why it's called present. 

I remember reading a short cartoon strip of Winnie the Pooh and Piglet. Pooh asked Piglet, "What day is it?" Piglet replied, "It is today." To which Pooh remarked, "Ah, my favorite day."

6 - Love what you do and do what you love.

Find the meaning and purpose in what you do. Then you won't have reason to complain or wish you're doing something else. Life is short. Spend your time wisely. Doing what you love and loving what you do makes waking up mornings super fantastic!

7 - Approach life with humor and laughter.

Laughter is the best medicine. No, you don't need to be a clown or to act as silly as one in order to find humor in every day situations. Enjoy life! After all, it is great to be alive. 

8 - Observe a healthy spirituality.

For me, it helps a lot that I have faith. For whenever I find myself lost, troubled or weary, I pray.  

Have a joyful life! :-)

Food For Thought

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.  
If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.
If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.
If you plant perseverance, you will reap victory.
If you plant consideration, you will reap harmony.
If you plant hard work, you will reap success.
If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.
If you plant openness, you will reap intimacy.
If you plant patience, you will reap improvements.
If you plant faith, you will reap miracles. 

But
If you plant dishonesty, you will reap distrust.
If you plant selfishness, you will reap loneliness.
If you plant pride, you will reap destruction.
If you plant envy, you will reap trouble.
If you plant laziness, you will reap stagnation.
If you plant bitterness, you will reap isolation.
If you plant greed, you will reap loss.
If you plant gossip, you will reap enemies.
If you plant worries, you will reap wrinkles.
If you plant sin, you will reap guilt.